But you're going to get it back. Have changed enoughto keep from turning into another Moranna?" That's what everyone's afraid about, isn't it?He nodde... somberly. "Yes, you're right. There are too many people whodon't know anything but fear." He stood up. "Come on, let's go see Jakob."Following him out of the barn and into the sun, my mood brightened. Iasked playfully, "Do you suppose any of your neighbors have wondered aboutthis woman who has been visiting you so often?" They're pretty far away. There was no return addressand no sign of its point of origin; the postmark was blurred. I took thebox inside, slit it open, and found the costume gun and a thickinstruction manual. I wondered how they had been able to find out who Iwas and where I lived. I wondered if it would actually, work. I had astrange feeling of certainty that it would.I sat down to think about a plan. I could just zap the first good-looking woman that I saw, but that could entail all kinds ofcomplications. I finally. . something that had only been academic in the past. To say that she was aware of how much she liked Ruth, is to say that an addict is aware of how much he'd like to get another fix.She wrote her mother long letters, describing the way things had happened, her reasons for initially calling Ruth her boyfriend, and how her feelings for him had progressed. She didn't describe what had happened that night, or what her cheerleader friends had set her up to do, but she did describe the general sexual. “I understand.”I shook my head. “No you don’t understand. We can’t be like that because we already are. You are my best friend and I don’t care what you are or what you do. We are buds.”By now tears were running down Angela’s beautiful face. I went to her and we hugged. And for the first time in my life I felt a feeling that I’d only felt with my brother, John Fuller and of course that boy, so long ago, in Cape Cod.Life for Angela and me went on as it had. We studied, gossiped and laughed just.
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